If the facts don't fit the theory, change the fact...

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.

Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age.

The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don't change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion.

One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it's such a nice change from being young.

My notion of a wife at 40 is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two 20s.

If you're old, don't try to change yourself, change your environment.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.