Health food makes me sick....

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

My inspiration was my mom. She's a great cook, and she still cooks, and we still banter back and forth about cooking. Growing up in a mostly Portuguese community, food was important and the family table was extremely important. At a very young age I understood that.

We incorporated new tastes and flavors into our kids' diets from a very early age, which helped to develop their palates and prevented them from becoming picky eaters. We don't buy junk food and give them options of fresh fruit, yogurt, raw almonds, or dried whole grain cereals for snack time.

I've always felt that sexuality is a really slippery thing. In this day and age, it tends to get categorized and labeled, and I think labels are for food. Canned food.

I absolutely relate to being alone in squalor, trying to come up with something adequate. I relate to that, and I've been known to crawl out of bed and drink out of a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke.

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it.

After you're older, two things are possibly more important than any others: health and money.

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.

Talk is by far the most accessible of pleasures. It costs nothing in money, it is all profit, it completes our education, founds and fosters our friendships, and can be enjoyed at any age and in almost any state of health.

My age and health will never allow me to realize the dream of art I've been pursuing all my life.