Once you get a spice in your home, you have it for...

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

Men of age object too much, consult too long, adventure too little, repent too soon, and seldom drive business home to the full period, but content themselves with a mediocrity of success.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Bring a wife home to your house when you are of the right age, not far short of 30 years, nor much above this is the right time for marriage.

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

I think women should start to embrace their age. What's the alternative to getting older? You die. I can't change the day I was born. But I can take care of my skin, my body, my mind, and try to live my life and be happy.

Few women, I fear, have had such reason as I have to think the long sad years of youth were worth living for the sake of middle age.

Wives are young men's mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men's nurses.