God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's...

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

Many believe - and I believe - that I have been designated for this work by God. In spite of my old age, I do not want to give it up I work out of love for God and I put all my hope in Him.

I wanted to be a teacher. I love children, so I wanted to deal with children. Then I wanted to be a veterinarian. But by the age of ten or eleven, when I opened my mouth and said, 'Oh, God, what's this?' I kind of knew teaching and being a veterinarian were gonna have to wait.

The face you have at age 25 is the face God gave you, but the face you have after 50 is the face you earned.

It's really amazing that in the age of unbelief, as a smart man called it, there isn't even more fraud. After all, with no God, there's no one to ever call you to account, and no accounting at all if you can get away with it.