I looked up my family tree and found out I was the...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

As you age naturally, your family shows more and more on your face. If you deny that, you deny your heritage.

I was born in ancient times, at the end of the world, in a patriarchal Catholic and conservative family. No wonder that by age five I was a raging feminist - although the term had not reached Chile yet, so nobody knew what the heck was wrong with me.

My inspiration was my mom. She's a great cook, and she still cooks, and we still banter back and forth about cooking. Growing up in a mostly Portuguese community, food was important and the family table was extremely important. At a very young age I understood that.

In every age there has been a stream of popular opinion that has carried all before it, and given a family character, as it were, to the century.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.