I figure that if the children are alive when I get...

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

Men of age object too much, consult too long, adventure too little, repent too soon, and seldom drive business home to the full period, but content themselves with a mediocrity of success.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Bring a wife home to your house when you are of the right age, not far short of 30 years, nor much above this is the right time for marriage.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Of course, the ideal scenario for parenting is obviously two parents of a mature age.

I hope to find the roles that are age appropriate but not yearning to be younger, or parenting ad nauseam.