Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me...

I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control.

I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.

Marriage is not about age it's about finding the right person.

Bring a wife home to your house when you are of the right age, not far short of 30 years, nor much above this is the right time for marriage.

Whoever, fleeing marriage and the sorrows that women cause, does not wish to wed comes to a deadly old age.