I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so th...

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

Old age is not a matter for sorrow. It is matter for thanks if we have left our work done behind us.

I am incredibly thankful for the strong support I have from my peers in the industry and of course my amazing fans.

Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books - especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day.

As we look forward to freedom, the shining city on the hill and the best days of America lying ahead, it is the men and women in uniform who protect, defend and make us proud to whom we should look and give thanks every night.