Famous Quotes About funny

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.