Famous Quotes About funny

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

He taught me housekeeping when I divorce I keep the house.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.