Famous Quotes About funny

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.