Famous Quotes About funny

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

My life needs editing.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.